This story is really late. I mean, it's already about time to go back to the classroom and here I am posting a story that happened right after Thanksgiving. Better late than never? Thank God I don't work in a newspaper!
I was teaching multiplication, and since I needed to connect it to real-world situations, I went to town making up word problems left and right. Out of habit, I include students from both of my sections in my problems. Find one such example below (the name has been changed).
"Paco collects baseball cards. If he has 8 pages of baseball cards with 10 cards in each page, how many baseball cards does Paco have?"
Well, Paco was excited to answer the question, so I let him answer it.
As the period ends, he comes up to me and says, "Mr. NAM. How did you know?!" Confused, I look at the binder page he is showing me: baseball cards! Of course I didn't know. I had spent the previous night writing problem after problem and had no idea, but that didn't stop me from smiling and saying, "Yep, I know!"
Looking back on it, I could have boasted, "I know everything about you all!" But then I suppose I'd have to know every detail about every kid from now until the end of the year, so maybe it was better the way I actually responded.
Hope everybody had a good Christmas holiday. I go back Wednesday. Best of luck to all!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Enter Mr. Elementary--Life in the T-Building
I teach in a trailer.
The rest of my school is very big, but that's OK. I like my little world outside of the main building. It comes with excellent benefits:
My own window unit.
The ability to staple onto the walls as I please (screw you, sticky tack!).
Not as many walkthroughs from the rest of the administration.
Another teacher in an adjoining classroom (easy bathroom buddy system implemented there).
I'm NAM, A.K.A. Mr. Elementary. You can close your wide-open mouth now; I really am a male teacher.
I'm excited to finally start posting on The Anonymous Teacher. I'd been meaning to throughout my job search, but during that period of time, I didn't know whether I was going to ever be working as a teacher.
However, things have a way of working out. If you are reading this and are entering the profession, heed my words of advice:
E-mail every principal, even if you have called and the secretary says he or she will call you back: For the most part, the principal is not going to call you back unless you directly address him or her. I guess it shows initiative. In fact, I didn't get interviewed for my current position until I had sent an e-mail to pretty much every principal across several districts and charter schools. And guess what? Even after I was hired, principals were still e-mailing me requesting interviews.
When you write your e-mails, be sure to include your resume and sound professional, like a cover letter. In fact, I used my cover letter as the body text of my e-mail and attached my resume to a Word document (nothing fancy or high-tech, and don't be a liar on your resume).
Interview tips: Good job snagging that interview. Now don't screw it up by going in with a rehearsed answer. You may hear the same questions over and over again at your interviews, but the principals are more interested in how you think and your personality. Don't be on your guard. Be comfortable with who you are and ride on what you think your best characteristics are. In my interviews, I rested myself on the side of my chair. If there were no arm rests, I used a table near me to relax. Be sure to breathe, and don't rush to answer a question. Take a short moment to really think about the question so you don't spout out another rehashed question about classroom management. What would you really do? And oh my lord, please smile, nod, and be a part of the conversation. My dad's words of wisdom for interview tips: "The more you talk in an interview, the more you like yourself. The more you listen to the interviewer, the more they like you."
And don't forget to follow up. They seem to like that.
The offer: Congratulations! You got a job offer! Uh oh, was it not your first choice? Don't panic! Calmly lie and say you have another interview coming up and ask if you can go to that interview first to think about it. Say that you would like to call them back following the interview. If that does not work, ask for 24 hours. If that does not work, think about if it is worth passing up the job.
That's all the advice I can think of at the moment. I acquired this knowledge through 5 months of a harsh job market with loads of trial and error. So don't get discouraged because it happens to all of us, whether we are new or experienced teachers. Don't forget to keep searching even while interviewing. Connections are good!
For next time: More about me, as well as why student teaching didn't properly prepare me for the classroom!
The rest of my school is very big, but that's OK. I like my little world outside of the main building. It comes with excellent benefits:
My own window unit.
The ability to staple onto the walls as I please (screw you, sticky tack!).
Not as many walkthroughs from the rest of the administration.
Another teacher in an adjoining classroom (easy bathroom buddy system implemented there).
I'm NAM, A.K.A. Mr. Elementary. You can close your wide-open mouth now; I really am a male teacher.
I'm excited to finally start posting on The Anonymous Teacher. I'd been meaning to throughout my job search, but during that period of time, I didn't know whether I was going to ever be working as a teacher.
However, things have a way of working out. If you are reading this and are entering the profession, heed my words of advice:
E-mail every principal, even if you have called and the secretary says he or she will call you back: For the most part, the principal is not going to call you back unless you directly address him or her. I guess it shows initiative. In fact, I didn't get interviewed for my current position until I had sent an e-mail to pretty much every principal across several districts and charter schools. And guess what? Even after I was hired, principals were still e-mailing me requesting interviews.
When you write your e-mails, be sure to include your resume and sound professional, like a cover letter. In fact, I used my cover letter as the body text of my e-mail and attached my resume to a Word document (nothing fancy or high-tech, and don't be a liar on your resume).
Interview tips: Good job snagging that interview. Now don't screw it up by going in with a rehearsed answer. You may hear the same questions over and over again at your interviews, but the principals are more interested in how you think and your personality. Don't be on your guard. Be comfortable with who you are and ride on what you think your best characteristics are. In my interviews, I rested myself on the side of my chair. If there were no arm rests, I used a table near me to relax. Be sure to breathe, and don't rush to answer a question. Take a short moment to really think about the question so you don't spout out another rehashed question about classroom management. What would you really do? And oh my lord, please smile, nod, and be a part of the conversation. My dad's words of wisdom for interview tips: "The more you talk in an interview, the more you like yourself. The more you listen to the interviewer, the more they like you."
And don't forget to follow up. They seem to like that.
The offer: Congratulations! You got a job offer! Uh oh, was it not your first choice? Don't panic! Calmly lie and say you have another interview coming up and ask if you can go to that interview first to think about it. Say that you would like to call them back following the interview. If that does not work, ask for 24 hours. If that does not work, think about if it is worth passing up the job.
That's all the advice I can think of at the moment. I acquired this knowledge through 5 months of a harsh job market with loads of trial and error. So don't get discouraged because it happens to all of us, whether we are new or experienced teachers. Don't forget to keep searching even while interviewing. Connections are good!
For next time: More about me, as well as why student teaching didn't properly prepare me for the classroom!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Please, please, please have said "retina...." Oh. Nope.
Chronically absent student misses days before exams start. Shows up. While on norning duty, I hear her say, "Yeah, I was absent because my mom tore her rectum. I couldn't get a ride here because she couldn't drive."
My ears perked up, and I decided to get my mind out of the gutter, because there's no way this child has just announced that her mother tore her rectum. Must have said "retina."
Another teacher arrives, opens the gym, and she goes inside. One of the kids to whom she was speaking came to me and said, "Ms. M., what's a 'rectum?'" I'm taken aback. Was I wrong? Surely, this other child heard wrong, too.
"Why? is that on your science exam?" (I'm so smooth.)
"No. Twyla said she couldn't come to school because her mom tore her rectum. What's a rectum?"
"Ummmmmmm look in your science book for more information, but it's kinda part of your digestive system. It's one of the stops your food makes on its way out of your body." (Super smooth!)
"Oh. Ok."
A few minutes later, I hear a female senior screech, "Your mama tore her rectum?!?!?!?! What she been doin'?!?!?!!?!?!" There was silence, which was followed by a loud chorus of "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't wanna know what was said.
My ears perked up, and I decided to get my mind out of the gutter, because there's no way this child has just announced that her mother tore her rectum. Must have said "retina."
Another teacher arrives, opens the gym, and she goes inside. One of the kids to whom she was speaking came to me and said, "Ms. M., what's a 'rectum?'" I'm taken aback. Was I wrong? Surely, this other child heard wrong, too.
"Why? is that on your science exam?" (I'm so smooth.)
"No. Twyla said she couldn't come to school because her mom tore her rectum. What's a rectum?"
"Ummmmmmm look in your science book for more information, but it's kinda part of your digestive system. It's one of the stops your food makes on its way out of your body." (Super smooth!)
"Oh. Ok."
A few minutes later, I hear a female senior screech, "Your mama tore her rectum?!?!?!?! What she been doin'?!?!?!!?!?!" There was silence, which was followed by a loud chorus of "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't wanna know what was said.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Who says real life isn't like TV?
I watch Glee. In fact, I love Glee. This is odd, because as a non-singing, non-dancing theatre person and drama teacher, I LOATHE musicals. But Glee is awesome. SO, nyah.
I directed my first school play earlier this month, and it was an amazing experience I want to repeat, but not any time in teh very immediate future. Next fall is better, haha.
Anyway, I had a large cast: 19 kids. 3 non-speaking parts, 3 tiny parts, the rest had several to plenty of lines. Ambitious, I know. Lesson learned. I teach in a school with about 115 kids from 8th to 12th grade. The coolest part of teaching in a small school? Everyone is involved in everything. The worst part of teaching in a small school? Everyone is involved in everything. I worked out time shares with the basketball, cheerleading, volleyball, and dance team coaches, as well as had to deal with the wrestling, volleyball, cross country, dance team, cheerleading, and basketball practice and game schedules, as well as work in the bowling team meets, which outweighed all of that, because that's my other after-school commitment, haha.Oh, and I had a student who attends our school half day and a creative arts school in the afternoon. WHEW. As you can see, I had athletic, popular, theatre, and artsy kids, as well as student council kids and kids who had never done anything like this before to juggle. As we all know from movies and TV shows, the jocks and the artsy kids and the student council kids and all of that never overlap in larger schools, and, well, the same is actually true in small schools, too.
We did a modern-language one-act adaptation of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" by Shakespeare, chosen because I also had to teach the real story in my sophomore English class this quarter. As usual, I offered bonus points to my students who were in the play or worked back stage. Two girls decided that if they could get bonus points, then maybe they could put up with being in the play. Both are sophomores, both are cute, both are popular. Both played on the volleyball team, one is the head cheerleader. They made it pretty clear in the beginning that they just wanted bonus points. Being short on available students, I figured what the heck...holding bonus points over them would make them do it.
My Titania was an anime-loving, cos-playing theatre newbie. She is a senior who loves Spongebob, the Beatles, and wigs and is a really awesome kid. Trying out, then committing to the part is not something she would have done two years ago. In fact, if I hadn't harassed her every day for a month, she may not have joined, either. I think she did it to get me to leave her alone.
Titania, Moth, and Starveling (I didn't have enough boys available, so Starveling was my head cheerleader) normally have nothing to do with each other. One group is too cool for life, the other is happy just to be herself. Titania wanted to wear a wig as part of her costume. She debated between a pink and a blue for a while, then decided on the pink, then chickened out and went with a long, dark brown wig with a funky cut. (Good funky, not bad funky.) She brought a bag full of wigs, including one she was donating to the department to school one day. It was a half day, and I went to nuke my lunch. As I was walking out of the room, I heard one of the sophomores say in a derisive tone, "Why do you have so many wigs?" There was a glance between Moth and Starveling. I knew Titania would hold her own, so I let it be. My lunch finished heating, and I walked back to my room, only to find Titania, Moth, and Starveling all wearing wigs and laughing and giggling together. They ate lunch in their wigs. After lunch, they returned the wigs to Titania. I heard Moth say, "Man...I think I want wigs now. Those are fun!" Starveling echoed her sentiments saying, "I want to do this every day!" And Titania just smiled and said, "Now you get why I have them?" The other two looked sheepish and said, "Yeah."
I related this story to my husband that night, and he said, "You just had Glee in your classroom." I looked at him quizzically. "You had your head cheerleader, another girl who is popular, too, and both of them are jocks. Your Oberon and your Snout are both jocks. You have your creative arts school kid as Puck, your quiet 8th grade sweet girls, your student council officers, and your kids who aren't normally involved in anything, plus your wig-wearing anime girl, and they just learned to do something together, to appreciate something they previously scoffed at. It's just like Glee."
You wanna talk glee? I lived it for the next few days. Thank you, theatre, for giving kids a chance to see into each others' worlds and to learn to appreciate each other and to get along.
It's been almost 2 weeks since the play. Moth and Starveling are more tolerant of kids in their class. They smile at me in the halls and answer when I say hello. They're no longer too cool. I mean, they get frustrated sometimes, but I heard Moth stick up for a kid this morning while they were working on their exam projects, and she normally tormented that kid. Let's hope they keep some of this and use it.
I directed my first school play earlier this month, and it was an amazing experience I want to repeat, but not any time in teh very immediate future. Next fall is better, haha.
Anyway, I had a large cast: 19 kids. 3 non-speaking parts, 3 tiny parts, the rest had several to plenty of lines. Ambitious, I know. Lesson learned. I teach in a school with about 115 kids from 8th to 12th grade. The coolest part of teaching in a small school? Everyone is involved in everything. The worst part of teaching in a small school? Everyone is involved in everything. I worked out time shares with the basketball, cheerleading, volleyball, and dance team coaches, as well as had to deal with the wrestling, volleyball, cross country, dance team, cheerleading, and basketball practice and game schedules, as well as work in the bowling team meets, which outweighed all of that, because that's my other after-school commitment, haha.Oh, and I had a student who attends our school half day and a creative arts school in the afternoon. WHEW. As you can see, I had athletic, popular, theatre, and artsy kids, as well as student council kids and kids who had never done anything like this before to juggle. As we all know from movies and TV shows, the jocks and the artsy kids and the student council kids and all of that never overlap in larger schools, and, well, the same is actually true in small schools, too.
We did a modern-language one-act adaptation of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" by Shakespeare, chosen because I also had to teach the real story in my sophomore English class this quarter. As usual, I offered bonus points to my students who were in the play or worked back stage. Two girls decided that if they could get bonus points, then maybe they could put up with being in the play. Both are sophomores, both are cute, both are popular. Both played on the volleyball team, one is the head cheerleader. They made it pretty clear in the beginning that they just wanted bonus points. Being short on available students, I figured what the heck...holding bonus points over them would make them do it.
My Titania was an anime-loving, cos-playing theatre newbie. She is a senior who loves Spongebob, the Beatles, and wigs and is a really awesome kid. Trying out, then committing to the part is not something she would have done two years ago. In fact, if I hadn't harassed her every day for a month, she may not have joined, either. I think she did it to get me to leave her alone.
Titania, Moth, and Starveling (I didn't have enough boys available, so Starveling was my head cheerleader) normally have nothing to do with each other. One group is too cool for life, the other is happy just to be herself. Titania wanted to wear a wig as part of her costume. She debated between a pink and a blue for a while, then decided on the pink, then chickened out and went with a long, dark brown wig with a funky cut. (Good funky, not bad funky.) She brought a bag full of wigs, including one she was donating to the department to school one day. It was a half day, and I went to nuke my lunch. As I was walking out of the room, I heard one of the sophomores say in a derisive tone, "Why do you have so many wigs?" There was a glance between Moth and Starveling. I knew Titania would hold her own, so I let it be. My lunch finished heating, and I walked back to my room, only to find Titania, Moth, and Starveling all wearing wigs and laughing and giggling together. They ate lunch in their wigs. After lunch, they returned the wigs to Titania. I heard Moth say, "Man...I think I want wigs now. Those are fun!" Starveling echoed her sentiments saying, "I want to do this every day!" And Titania just smiled and said, "Now you get why I have them?" The other two looked sheepish and said, "Yeah."
I related this story to my husband that night, and he said, "You just had Glee in your classroom." I looked at him quizzically. "You had your head cheerleader, another girl who is popular, too, and both of them are jocks. Your Oberon and your Snout are both jocks. You have your creative arts school kid as Puck, your quiet 8th grade sweet girls, your student council officers, and your kids who aren't normally involved in anything, plus your wig-wearing anime girl, and they just learned to do something together, to appreciate something they previously scoffed at. It's just like Glee."
You wanna talk glee? I lived it for the next few days. Thank you, theatre, for giving kids a chance to see into each others' worlds and to learn to appreciate each other and to get along.
It's been almost 2 weeks since the play. Moth and Starveling are more tolerant of kids in their class. They smile at me in the halls and answer when I say hello. They're no longer too cool. I mean, they get frustrated sometimes, but I heard Moth stick up for a kid this morning while they were working on their exam projects, and she normally tormented that kid. Let's hope they keep some of this and use it.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
And it cost me a FORTUNE...
Being a big "Peanuts" fan this year I got one of the two-foot replicas of Charlie Brown's Christmas Tree to set up on the back counter in my classroom. I set it up this morning and I got some nice comments from my first class. It was there all during class, and with about five minutes left in my second hour, one of the kids finally noticed it.
"Hey, Mr. B!" he said. "Your tree looks kind of scrawny!"
"You've got to be kidding me," I said. "One of you guys has to know where that tree is from."
One of the smarter kids in class got it. "That's Charlie Brown's tree!"
"Right," I confirmed.
A third kid looked at it, kind of puzzled, then he turned to me and asked, in all seriousness, "Is that the real one from the TV show?"
"Hey, Mr. B!" he said. "Your tree looks kind of scrawny!"
"You've got to be kidding me," I said. "One of you guys has to know where that tree is from."
One of the smarter kids in class got it. "That's Charlie Brown's tree!"
"Right," I confirmed.
A third kid looked at it, kind of puzzled, then he turned to me and asked, in all seriousness, "Is that the real one from the TV show?"
Friday, November 13, 2009
Pranked!
I was out sick on Wednesday. On Thursday, one of my sophomores greeted me with, "Hey, don't freak out, but you're going to notice that one of your staplers is missing. I have it, and it's safe, and you'll get it back tomorrow. I can't tell you why, but you'll understand it when you see it."
I figured he borrowed it for a project. I taught him as a 7th grader and an 8th grader, I teach him now, and he's in my play, so I know him pretty well. He's a good kid. Funny, too.
Then I thought....maybe he's Bedazzling it or decorating it or something. It's a documented fact that I am a sucker for cool office supplies. I wasn't too worried, especially since he said, "And don't worry, it's not your red Swingline. It's the other one."
When I pulled into the parking lot today, I saw him walking up with something in his hands, but I couldn't see it. He had an odd look on his face, then turned and walked with his back to me. I was convinced that he was trying to avoid my glance because maybe he was skipping out on rehearsals. I went to put my purse away before going on morning duty, and got stopped by about 4 different kids. Some were legit, I think. One was painfully and obviously trying to delay me. I saw the kid walk past me at the crossroad in the hall followed by two other kids and a teacher, and still thought nothing of it. They let me get to my room, and one girl said, "I hope you believe in good luck on Friday the 13th!"
I opened my door and they trailed in after me (subtle, guys....realllll subtle....) but I saw nothing wrong at first. Then I turned to my desk and saw a large green gelatinous dome. With my missing stapler in it.
Flashback a few weeks, and the kid and I were talking about funny things we've seen on TV. I said, "I still say that one of the funniest things I've ever seen was on the first episode of 'The Office' when they put Dwight's stapler in the Jell-O mold and he opens the drawer and discovers it." The kid replied with, "What would you do if that happened to you?" My reply? "So long as it wasn't my red Swingline, I'd probably laugh my head off."
I set myself up, then completely forgot I'd done it. For the record, yeah. I laughed my head off.
Epic win, child. Epic win.
I figured he borrowed it for a project. I taught him as a 7th grader and an 8th grader, I teach him now, and he's in my play, so I know him pretty well. He's a good kid. Funny, too.
Then I thought....maybe he's Bedazzling it or decorating it or something. It's a documented fact that I am a sucker for cool office supplies. I wasn't too worried, especially since he said, "And don't worry, it's not your red Swingline. It's the other one."
When I pulled into the parking lot today, I saw him walking up with something in his hands, but I couldn't see it. He had an odd look on his face, then turned and walked with his back to me. I was convinced that he was trying to avoid my glance because maybe he was skipping out on rehearsals. I went to put my purse away before going on morning duty, and got stopped by about 4 different kids. Some were legit, I think. One was painfully and obviously trying to delay me. I saw the kid walk past me at the crossroad in the hall followed by two other kids and a teacher, and still thought nothing of it. They let me get to my room, and one girl said, "I hope you believe in good luck on Friday the 13th!"
I opened my door and they trailed in after me (subtle, guys....realllll subtle....) but I saw nothing wrong at first. Then I turned to my desk and saw a large green gelatinous dome. With my missing stapler in it.
Flashback a few weeks, and the kid and I were talking about funny things we've seen on TV. I said, "I still say that one of the funniest things I've ever seen was on the first episode of 'The Office' when they put Dwight's stapler in the Jell-O mold and he opens the drawer and discovers it." The kid replied with, "What would you do if that happened to you?" My reply? "So long as it wasn't my red Swingline, I'd probably laugh my head off."
I set myself up, then completely forgot I'd done it. For the record, yeah. I laughed my head off.
Epic win, child. Epic win.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Grading the teacher?
Report cards went home today. In anticipation of this most wonderful/agonizing day, one of my sophomores, who I taught as a 7th and 8th grader, decided he wants to give me a daily grade. He's a pretty goofy kid. He started this on standardized test day. Which was irritating. And consisted of my having a mysterious throat infection. I was mildly amused by this, since he's a pretty goofy kid and all.
"Ms. M., today I'd have to say your grade is an 'F.'"
I'd say a C- that day, maybe a D+, personally, because I just wasn't myself.
I told him, "Gee, thanks."
He said, "Yeah. As in, "FREAKIN' AWESOME!"
Yesssss....
Today, I didn't have that class. He gave me a B. Not sure why.
************************************************************
Last period today was my journalism seniors. I had to hand out their report cards. One kid kept taking his from the pile and putting it on top.Just to annoy me. I put it on the bottom to annoy him back, and slowly handed out all of the others. He picked up a witch hat that was being used in my partner's art class earlier in the week, and put it on my head.
"You have to wear this the rest of the day. Because that's pretty much what you are."
Haha. I love seniors and sophomores.
"Ms. M., today I'd have to say your grade is an 'F.'"
I'd say a C- that day, maybe a D+, personally, because I just wasn't myself.
I told him, "Gee, thanks."
He said, "Yeah. As in, "FREAKIN' AWESOME!"
Yesssss....
Today, I didn't have that class. He gave me a B. Not sure why.
************************************************************
Last period today was my journalism seniors. I had to hand out their report cards. One kid kept taking his from the pile and putting it on top.Just to annoy me. I put it on the bottom to annoy him back, and slowly handed out all of the others. He picked up a witch hat that was being used in my partner's art class earlier in the week, and put it on my head.
"You have to wear this the rest of the day. Because that's pretty much what you are."
Haha. I love seniors and sophomores.
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