Chronically absent student misses days before exams start. Shows up. While on norning duty, I hear her say, "Yeah, I was absent because my mom tore her rectum. I couldn't get a ride here because she couldn't drive."
My ears perked up, and I decided to get my mind out of the gutter, because there's no way this child has just announced that her mother tore her rectum. Must have said "retina."
Another teacher arrives, opens the gym, and she goes inside. One of the kids to whom she was speaking came to me and said, "Ms. M., what's a 'rectum?'" I'm taken aback. Was I wrong? Surely, this other child heard wrong, too.
"Why? is that on your science exam?" (I'm so smooth.)
"No. Twyla said she couldn't come to school because her mom tore her rectum. What's a rectum?"
"Ummmmmmm look in your science book for more information, but it's kinda part of your digestive system. It's one of the stops your food makes on its way out of your body." (Super smooth!)
"Oh. Ok."
A few minutes later, I hear a female senior screech, "Your mama tore her rectum?!?!?!?! What she been doin'?!?!?!!?!?!" There was silence, which was followed by a loud chorus of "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't wanna know what was said.
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